TheNubianLily

I miss home

I miss home. Not home like NoVa/LoCo.

But my first home, Ethiopia. I miss my extended family, my neighbors, the dirt roads, the people, the tin roofs, the markets, the churches, the music, the love, the social environment, the beauty found in simple things, the kids I grew up with, the outdoor cafes, the food, the sodas (specifically, Mirinda), the crowded buses/taxis, the music shops, the whole kit and caboodle. 

I miss home. 

I miss my first home…

…and by that, I mean Ethiopia. More specifically, Nekemte - the town where I was born and raised. After moving to America in 2001, I went back to visit for the first time in 2003. Spending 2 months in Addis Ababa and Nekemte was the time of my life. Coming back to America after such a blissful summer spent with family was heartbreaking. I remember I felt so lonely and miserable, more than a 13 year old should have to feel. But, as one must do in life, I readjusted. 

I had to wait 6 years to go back home. In 2009, I went back for my uncle’s wedding. This time, I only spent a month there. What made this visit more beautiful than the last visit was seeing a different part of ET. I spent a few days in Jimma and it was just gorgeous to me. In the overall month I had, I found a little bit of myself that I had lost in the past six years. 

Although it has only been 2 years since my last visit, I feel the need to go back overwhelming me. It feels as if I am losing a vital part of me. This feeling of loss stems from many things: being isolated from the people & culture, losing fluency in my language, not feeling like I’m preserving my traditions, and etc. The main issue is losing my language. 

However, I don’t think I can go back for a while. Life as a soon-to-be-college-graduate is getting in the way. There is always something I have to do. Granted, there is a period of 1 week I can go for but why tease myself like that? Next time I go, it needs to be for a month or two. I have a list of things I need to do while I’m there — and no, they’re not trivial items like going to see this place or that. They’re a list of things that must be done as a part of my journey of self-discovery.